New year

although it is now the middle of January, there are some resolutions i want to make:

  1. Be strong. Move forward. Stop being afraid of everything and stop avoiding things that you are afraid of (you will still have to face it one day).
  2. Breathe. Move on from past mistakes. No one can change the past but there are ways to compensate on it.
  3. Smile more. Stop neglecting yourself. Stop wallowing in self-pity.
  4. Remember that even if you have no true friends and all of them have their own agendas with you, there still is your family who loves you.
  5. I am definitely getting back on my feet.

Tomorrow will be better.

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New year

A special day

Today i finally feel like i’m gonna be okay. For a long time, i have been feeling so down, so sad, helpless and sometimes depressing. Friends go and pass. Old friends that you thought   that have forgotten you might come back. Or they might not, but sometimes you just can’t help but keep hoping that one day it will happen. New friends may only stay for awhile or they may stay for a lifetime.

Today, i feel really loved by everyone. Thank you everyone for making me feel like i belonged somewhere. Thank you for giving me the warmth i haven’t felt in such a long time. You may think that today is just any ordinary day. But for me, today is one of those days that i really treasured, it reminds me of the reason why i have fought on so hard all these years which i sometimes forgot especially last month and the starting six days of this month which were especially painful time for me.

I may not have said it out loud, but i’m really thankful and grateful to all of you from the bottom of my heart.

 

Love you all.
A special day

Appreciate

I realised that most of the time I’m always whining about my life and never actually stopped to appreciate all the good things that happened in my life. When i thought about appreciation, the first thing that came to my mind is my dad. I figured that my dad is one of the few people in the world who appreciates everything he has in his lifetime. He once told me, ” if you have got food on your table everyday, you are luckier that half of the people on earth; if you have a roof above your head, you are luckier than most people on earth; on top of that if you are healthy and have a chance to get education, you are one of the few luckiest person on earth.”

I believe that sometimes we got so caught up in our problems that we forgot that there is also beauty in our life. I quote Lelouch (from Code Geass, it’s an anime btw):

 

“Happiness is like glass. It may be all around you, yet be invisible.
But if you change your angle of viewing a little, then it will reflect light more beautifully than any other object around you”

 

and even if i don’t really agree with some of Lelouch’s action throughout the show, i always think that this quote is pretty accurate and true. And to me, it was one of the highlight of the show.

The reason why I’m writing this post is because i’m feeling pretty troubled today about some problems. Then, because Happy Fathers’ Day just passed not long ago, i thought about my dad and all the things he always talk to me about.

I don’t think that I’m lucky most of the time. But every time i think about how i have such a great dad, my perspective of life always change for the better. Although this might sound cheesy, my dad is one of the best things in my life and one that i appreciate the most.

Why? You might ask. Well, one of the reason is people from my friends, family members and even one of my teacher during high school has always said i look emotionless and that they can’t guess what i’m thinking and because of that, i think i might have freaked them out a little. However, my dad always realise it when something is wrong with me, either if I’m sad or angry. Although i don’t show it, he will always realise it and ask me what is wrong and it makes me feel really better to talk it out with him. It’s one of the things i missed the most when i moved out of home.

Oh great, I’m getting emotional again. Well then, i’ll stop writing here. And yeah, although i don’t say it, i love you dad!

Appreciate