I have no idea why and how others are so brave as if they had never ever feel fear in their life. Me, on the other hand, have been feeling fear all my life. All sorts of fear, even the ridiculous ones. Fear of rejection by family and friends, fear of failing my exams, fear of losing the people i love, i deal all of these fear on a daily basis. And my imaginations do run really wild sometimes. For instance, when I’m at home alone, i fear being kidnapped, when I’m walking at the sidewalk, i am afraid that i will be robbed. These type of thinking prevented me from doing the things i want to do and i feel so frustrated about how cowardly i am. Almost everyday, these kind of thoughts go in and out of my mind.
I was a scaredy cat since i was young. I thought i would grew out of it when i grew older. It didn’t. If anything, it grew worse as i have more and more things to think and fear about. But i know i have to stop all these irrational fear so that i can move forward to live my life the way i want to without being so afraid all the time.
I’m really trying to put behind my fear and doing it one step at a time. Living a life like this is sometimes so tiring.